So, here's what's happening. Everyday for the next 100 days, I'm going to write 100 words. Sometimes they'll be good words. Sometimes they'll just be words. Sometimes it might be 100 of the same word. We'll see.
I'll be honest. This is probably the most difficult way I could possibly engage in the #100DaysProject. Because it requires something of me that I'm not sure I have. But, what's the worst that can happen?
1. Inspire. | 2. Stardust. | 3. Joy. | 4. Season. | 5. Nourish. | 6. Church Party; Party Church. | 7. Choice. | 8. Better. | 9. Meeting. | 10. Thanks. | 11. Memory. | 12. Gift. | 13, Magic. | 14. Magic pt. 2 | 15. Confusion. | 16. Yes. | 17. Bright. | 18. Horizon. | 19. Classy. | 20. Body. | 21. Nice. |22. Space | 23. Break. | 24. Experience. | 25. Journey. } 26. Light. |27. Time. | 28. Dance. | 29. Idea. | 30. Ready. |31. Special. | 32. Talk. | 33. Clear. | 34. Idea. | 35. Become. | 36. Habit. | 37. Bubbly. | 38. Anxiety. | 39. Still. | 40. Outdoors. | 41. Commencement.
view (n) the ability to see something or to be seen from a particular place.
Another day of thinking and dreaming of the future. Looking forward and imagining everything that could be. Taking a step back and deciding what should be. Asking ourselves and others what might be. Ultimately deciding what will be. There is power in visualizing the future. Allowing ourselves to imagine all that we want a hope for, and sharing that with others. To take each of our particularities and place them next to and within one another. Taking multiple points of view and overlapping them in a way that allows us to create something appealing to many and helpful for more.
tired (adj) in need of sleep or rest; weary.
Funny how sometimes the days that give us the most also take the most from us? 18 hour days, early mornings and late nights. Spending time with those you care about, yet finding space for yourself, your thoughts your time. Finding ways to rest and reset. Finding space to sit and breathe. Or finding space to jump and dance. Sitting down at the end of the day, and seeing how much you’ve accomplished and feeling righteous in your exhaustion. Or looking back and realizing there were moments that could have been better utilized… and deciding to be okay with that.
vacation (n) an extended period of recreation, especially one spent away from home or in traveling.
Time away. Time alone. Time for self. Time for others. Time for rest. Time for fun. Time to laugh. Time to cry. Time to dance. Time to sleep. Time to over sleep. Time to stay up. Time to read. Time to listen. Time to speak. Time to be your best. Time to discover what your best is. Space to dream. Space to fly. Space to make space. Space to speak. Space you breathe deeply. Space to walk slowly. Space to create. Space to smile. Space to call forth. Space to spin in circles. Space to embrace newness. Space to be.
home (n) the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.
For me, home is a feeling more than a physical location, and it takes a lot for a place to feel like home. I’ve lived in a place for 14 years that never felt like home. I’ve walked into a place that felt like home immediately. I’ve realized that certain music sounds like home, food and drinks taste like home. What does home feel like? You walk outside on a sunny day, it’s warm but not too hot. Breezy and slightly humid. You can feel the sun on your shoulders. And you just know everything is going to be alright.
vocation (n) a strong feeling of suitability for a particular career or occupation.
What does it mean to stop and listen? What does it mean to pause and wait before proceeding? What does it mean to allow ourselves to breathe before making major decisions? What does it look like when we step into what our souls most want? How do we know when it’s right? When it’s wrong? How do we encourage real and true joy in others? What does it look like to live life in community where roles are determined based on strength and passion? What does it feel like to live at the intersection of deep hunger and deep gladness?
precious (adj) of great value; not to be wasted or treated carelessly.
People are constantly talking about how millennial value experience more than material items. Then they turn around and call us materialistic. I try not to overthink time, but I do value the time that I get to spend with people who mean a lot to me. Coffee with close friends. Lunches with loved ones with don’t get to share meals with often. A snack with someone who you haven’t seen in nearly a decade. Make the most of the time. Eat dessert first. Skip the entree all together. Eat what brings you joy, and do it with people you love.
commencement (n) a beginning or start.
I’ve never quite understood why Mother’s Day is also a huge graduation day, but I’ve also never cared enough to try and find out. This day holds so much. It’s an ending of one era and beginning for another for many. It’s a day of celebration for some. It’s a day of memory, some painful, some pleasant, for even more. Today, I’ve sat in all three of these camps. Many moments were joyful. Some of my memories were upsetting. I got to celebrate many beginnings. Graduations. Dedications. Babies. Friends. Overall, I can say that today was a day of hope.
outdoors (adv) in or into the open air; outside a building or shelter.
The sun is magical. Like, really I gives us energy, like literal power, and it also recharges our hearts and souls. It awakens something in us that tells us who we are and what our place is in this world. The earth is magical. It holds and supports us. It keeps us upright, and sometimes tells us when its time to lay down. The sky is a reminder of how much we are capable of. How bright things can be when everything’s okay. Think about the world created when sun, earth, and sky work together. Literal real like nature magic.
still (adj) not moving or making a sound.
We can learn a lot from being around butterflies. They grow slow. They rest for a while. They go through major transition. They come out on the other side of things stronger, more beautiful. More confident. They’re fearless and fragile. Majestic and moving. Butterflies are symbolic in many traditions. They symbolize strength, change, resilience, stillness, patience, and quiet attention. Today I was gifted the ability to sit among the butterflies. And two chose to come and sit with me. I chose in that moment to be still for their sakes. Sometimes I should choose to be still for my own.
anxiety (n) a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
I’m a fairly punctual person. I like to live my life in a way that I never need to rush. I was rushed. I was headed to the airport, because I’m headed home. First, I waited 19 minutes for a “canceled" train, then ended up on a train that was delayed with no updates or explanation. As the time ticked closer I got more and more anxious. “what if I miss my flight?” Then I got trapped behind a large group of slow walkers. My bag got pulled on the security line. My coffee had chunks in it. The. Worst.
bubbly (adj) (of a person) full of cheerful high spirits.
habit (n) a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior.
become (v) begin to be.
Choosing this word was both difficult and easy. Today a lot of energy was devoted to thoughts of discernment and vocation. Asking tough questions, knowing that there aren’t yet answers. Also knowing that when the answers arrive, they won’t be obvious, and they’ll likely be sudden. The process of opening your soul, and asking what I’ve come to call the “anything” question is absolutely terrifying. But the idea of opening your soul, and asking the “anything” question, and finding out who you are at your core, who you’re meant to become, and walking into that space feels so worth it.
idea (n) a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action.
What does it mean to have an idea? How / when does a thought become an idea? Is it when we’re sitting around a table, dreaming big and wide, but also super narrow and specific. Is int when we’re laughing ,telling stories, creating new stories, making up totally untrue stories. What about when we’re listening for ideas in silly unrealistic thoughts because sometimes what you need to hear isn’t actually what’s being said. Sometimes what needs to be said, isn’t at all what you want to hear. Ideas have power. Ideas are sparks of change. Pure potential. You don’t marry potential.
clear (adj) unclouded; shining.
Today was beautiful. The weather was warm. I took myself out of coffee. I went for a walk. I walked to the water. The sky was bright and cloudless, the water was my favorite shade of blue-green. I enjoyed the feeling of the sun out my shoulders, sand between my toes. That feeling of being a little bit sweaty, but not so sweaty that you’re uncomfortable. Then to lunch. I read outside. Then to a movie. Then I stood in the sun, arms extended, face skyward, in appreciation of all the the day was. It was pretty much perfect.
talk (i.v) to express or exchange ideas by means of spoken words.
special (adj) better, greater, or otherwise different from what is usual.
ready (n) fully prepared
idea (n) whatever is known or supposed about something.
dance (v) to move rhythmically to music, typically following a set sequence of steps.
I believe that dancing rivals laughter as the physical manifestation of joy. There’s such a thing as someone who “can’t dance”. I believe that we should dance any chance we get. I don’t believe that dancing should only happen if its planned, or good, or choreographed. I believe that there’s power in happy dances. I don’t believe that music is necessary for dancing to take place. I believe in always having a playlist ready to go. I believe that when we think about it, life is really just a dance routine, sometimes choreographed, sometimes flailing, sometime off-beat, always perfect.
time (n) the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.
I think a lot about time. The things that I do and don’t “buy” about it. I think about the fact that in my attempts not to be bound by time I often end up overwhelmed, anxious, a little sweaty, and on track to be 15 minutes early sending a text that says “hey I might be a little late.” I also think a lot about those moments that seem to stretch on forever, in a good way. Places. People. Breezes. Sunshine. It’s almost like time is aware of beauty and expands to give us a gift. Savor those moments.
light (n) the natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible
journey (n) an act or instance of traveling from one place to another.
experience (n) something personally encountered, undergone, or lived through
I'm in North Carolina following along with the trend that so much of my formation is taking place here. This is where I'm becoming who I'm meant to be. Today is the first day that I changed my word. I started with belong, but quickly realized that the theme of this particular Thursday is experience. That's why I'm here. I can already tell that this experience is going to be both a challenge and a blessing. I have a hard time attending events as a very uninvolved participant. I'm uncomfortable. I'm challenging myself. I'm accepting that challenge.
break (v) to make a pause in.
space (n) a continuous area or expanse that is free, available, or unoccupied.
Today I cleaned my desk and left work knowing that I won't back for while. About a month if I'm honest. A mix of conferences, events, and vacation mean that I'm going to be out of the office for the next 28 days. I actually find a lot of peace at my desk. I actually prefer to work from it, so this is gonna be difficult, but also good, really good. I'm just connected to my space. But in looking to define space, I've learned that space is identified by emptiness. Which my workspace will be for a while. Weird.
nice (adj) pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory.
body (n) the physical and mortal aspect of a person as opposed to the soul or spirit.
My word for 2018 is Body. My goals for 2018 are centered around getting comfortable with and in my body. I'm also finding ways to love myself *before* seeking major changes. I've been having an incredibly hard time with this lately. My body is changing, Maybe diet. Maybe stress. Maybe aging. But my clothes fit differently. I sit differently. I stand differently. I sleep differently. My yoga practice has also shifted. I don't go because it feels like my body is betraying me. Why does down dog hurt? Why can't I hang out comfortably in Child's pose? Let's find out.
classy (adj) stylish and sophisticated.
horizon (n) range of perception or experience.
bright (adj) vivid or brilliant.
yes (ex) expressing delight.
confusion (n) the state of being bewildered or unclear in one's mind about something.
magic (n) a quality that makes something seem removed from everyday life, especially in a way that gives delight.
Magic is real. Magic is in the moments where we learn who we are, or discover who someone we've know all along is. There's magic in that one song that's always on our hearts or the experience of the first bite of your favorite food. Coffee is magic. Yep, that's pure unadulterated magic right there. I believe that smiles and laughter are transitive magic one to another an exchange of souls.Vulnerability is also magical. It creates new space and dimension that simply didn't exist before. Think about it. Connection. True authentic human connection. How is that anything short of magical?
gift (n) a thing given willingly to someone with out payment; (n) a natural ability or talent.
“Spreadsheets aren’t sexy.” - Bri ~2pm 4/14/18
Whenever theres a personality test or inventory, I'm always the helper-supporter-advocate-servant-leader mother of the group who will gladly organize the event, come early to set up, and stay after to clean up because she's been "gifted with administration". Always the secretary, never the saleswoman, the marketing person or the boss. But let me tell you how I really feel. If my spreadsheets and color-coding can lend a bit of function to the chaos that is the raw and brilliant talent I tend to find myself surrounded by, that feels pretty sexy to me.
memory (n) something remembered from the past; a recollection
My right now is hectic and busy and great. It’s also stupid cold and hella rainy and I feel like I'm being pulled in 17 equally amazing directions all at the same time. Today I’m choosing to live in the world of yesterday in order to steal a few moments of warmth and light. I'm choosing to remember the warmth of the ocean, the sun on my shoulders. Swimming out to sand banks and literally standing in the middle* of the ocean. To remember the 24 hours that I was the princess of a giant pink castle.
*more or less
thanks (n) an expression of gratitude
meeting (n) a coming together of two or more people, by chance or arrangement.
As a society, we tend to gather. I spend my work day in various meetings. Then my evenings bring slightly more enjoyable meetings. Sometimes on the weekend I find myself in more informal yet much more intentional meetings. Knowing that those 3 statements refer to at least 7 distinct types of human interaction makes me wonder both why we have so many different ways to describe the act of one or more human people simultaneously converging on a space and time, and how we don't have more. Meeting. Soiree. Gathering. Shindig. Check-In. Party. Appointment. Hootenanny. Assembly. Affair. Conference. Social. Get-together.
better (adj) more excellently or effectively.
As someone with anxiety it's helpful for me to view the day to day decisions and interactions that make up my life as an experiment. Not a divine experiment, where someone or something else is calling the shots, but one where I run the lab. What I wear, how I speak, what I laugh at. All experimental. If it doesn't feel right, I adjust. I like the result? Keep doing it. I get to choose. Even if I make the same choice daily. I made it. On the positive, nothing is ever permanent. On the negative, nothing is ever permanent.
choice (n) an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.
choice (adj) [especially of food] of very good quality.
Today was a lot of things. Busy. Exciting. Energizing. Snowy (gross). Full of lists. Full of laughs. I literally laughed so hard I spit water all over a table and maybe the wall as well, who knows. There were balloons involved. Let's just say that It was the text book day-before-the-big-day. But something that felt more acute today than usual was that each and every time we go to do something we get to make a choice. Be on time for the meeting, or use the restroom? Read the text, or wait til later? Laugh out loud, or chuckle quietly?
church (n) institutionalized religion as a political or social force
party (n) a social gathering of invited guests, typically involving eating, drinking, and entertainment
The past few days of this have felt somewhat like a gratitude journal. That's not my intention, but today I'm thankful. Thankful for community and hope. Thankful for being able to laugh at ourselves and cry together, sometimes simultaneously. Thankful for big-t-truths, little-t-truths that we get to decide on and the beauty of disagreement, Thankful for the power of real and authentic human connection. Thankful for people who are real people and totally down for just being people together. Thankful that I've found so much of this in an unexpected place. I'm thankful for the gift that is my progressive-community-focused-perfectly-impertfect-totally-crushing-it-storytelling-bar-church.
nourish (v) to provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition.
II think a lot about nutrition. Physical (dietary) spiritual, emotional. What has sustenance? Do we take in enough to sustain us? How do we know? What does it look like? What does it feel like? When is enough enough? How do we know if its not enough. What does it mean to be well nourished? What are the signs of malnutrition? Who gets to say what's up and what's down? What if we don't know what can properly nourish us? What is what tastes (feels) the best isn't what's best for us? Isn't that usually how things like this go?
Season (n) a period of the year characterized by or associated with a particular activity or phenomenon.
Though it is incredibly versatile I HATE this word. The usage i hate the most? The description of a period of time. “A season of loneliness.” “Busy Season." Like emotions and experiences work that way. Seasons come and go, yes, but they're to a certain extent supposed to be predictable. I get that the fact that it's snowing in April doesn't *really* make my case, but isn't the beautiful comfort of seasons their cyclical ever constant yet ever changing nature? Isn't that why snow in April is a little unsettling?
inspire. (v) - to fill (someone) with the urge or ability to do or feel something, especially to do something creative.
I think a lot about what it means to inspire. To be inspired. To be inspiring. When we take the time to think about it, it's a pretty powerful position to hold for another. It's a gorgeous way of taking up emotional space that provides for all involved in the exchange. It's intangible. Really, how would you describe inspiration? What does it look like? Smell like? How do you know? How would you describe the act of being inspired? Exactly. To be inspired is to be beyond ordinary. To be inspiring is to be anything but.
stardust. (n) - a magical or charismatic quality or feeling.
We are all made of stardust. I know I'm not the only one that finds that fact both magical and fascinating. "Almost every element on Earth was formed at the heart of a star." My heart, is the heart of a star. I find that the realest moments and the truest truths are in the places where science and magic and reality and belief and fiction all blur together in beautiful messy agreement. Where we're never really sure and completely sure at the same time. Where we can feel the magic within us and have to decide what it means.
Joy (n) a feeling of great pleasure or happiness.
I'm gonna start by saying that joy and happiness aren't the same thing. I'm going to continue by saying that it's possible to be joyful without being happy. I'm going to go on to say that to live a joyful life does not mean to live a perfect life, a pretty life, or even what most would call a good life. I think that to live joyfully is to choose to embrace life's absurdities and to just allow yourself to be. We're human beings, not human doing, so sometimes the best thing that we can do for ourselves, for our souls, is just be.
1. Inspire. | 2. Stardust. | 3. Joy. | 4. Season. | 5. Nourish. | 6. Church Party; Party Church. | 7. Choice. | 8. Better. | 9. Meeting. | 10. Thanks. | 11. Memory. | 12. Gift. | 13, Magic. | 14. Magic pt. 2 | 15. Confusion. | 16. Yes. | 17. Bright. | 18. Horizon. | 19. Classy. | 20. Body. | 21. Nice. |22. Space | 23. Break. | 24. Experience. | 25. Journey. } 26. Light. |1. Inspire. | 2. Stardust. | 3. Joy. | 4. Season. | 5. Nourish. | 6. Church Party; Party Church. | 7. Choice. | 8. Better. | 9. Meeting. | 10. Thanks. | 11. Memory. | 12. Gift. | 13, Magic. | 14. Magic pt. 2 | 15. Confusion. | 16. Yes. | 17. Bright. | 18. Horizon. | 19. Classy. | 20. Body. | 21. Nice. |22. Space | 23. Break. | 24. Experience. | 25. Journey. } 26. Light. |27. Time. | 28. Dance. | 29. Idea. | 30. Ready. |31. Special. | 32. Talk. | 33. Clear. | 34. Idea. | 35. Become. | 36. Habit. | 37. Bubbly. | 38. Anxiety. | 39. Still. | 40. Outdoors. | 41. Commencement.