Chasing the Sun
I've been trying to spend as much time as possible outside of my home.
I'm trying to learn from the vastness and infinite possibility that "outside" represents.
To stand at the edge of a body of water and find yourself unable to see where it ends.
To gaze straight up and realize that you'll never be able to know all that is going on under the never ending sky.
To allow myself to simply exist, to do nothing else, if only for a moment.
Its a reminder to live small and slow.
A reminder of just how much is possible.
A reminder of how much beauty is in the world.
As an anxious person, being in my own space feels safe.
Aa an anxious person I thrive when I get to be in control.
Control over where I go.
Control over who I see.
Control over who sees me.
But standing under the sky I'm both completely seen and completely invisible.
And in that there's great beauty.
And in that there's great vulnerability.
And in that there's so much fear.
But in that there's so much freedom.
So, for now, that's where I choose to be.